Since the garden of Eden and initial human disobedience, it’s no secret that humanity has nailed the art of being imperfect. It’s your nature, it’s my nature, and this is our reality!
If I am being truthful though, it takes a lot of grace to allow myself to acknowledge that imperfection is my nature. For some reason(s), I have always strived to be as close to perfect as possible. In fact, this self-imposed expectation of perfection is so burdensome that I not only expected if of myself, but I had even convinced myself that all the people around me expect it too.
Perhaps environment had something to do with it; I used to work for a large hierarchical firm. As in many industries, our projects were done in the following manner – more entry level employees would do most of the legwork, then after sending it to their superior who would do a round of revisions, the work product would go to the next person up above the reviewer, and up and up until no more changes and the product was perfect, so off to the client it went! As I progressed in my career, being that second or third level of reviewer, the margin for error became less, and this created stress. The grace to make mistakes decreased purely since experience and title denoted that I knew what I was doing. At the same time, the type of projects I worked on became more complicated, and I found myself not only struggling to manage the challenges in front of me, while also learning how to navigate to the next level. It was like running on a hamster wheel, no end in sight. And still with every promotion I told myself I needed to have mastered everything for my level and prove that I deserved to be where I was at.
I hope this story does not resonate with you, but I am afraid for many of us, especially women, we are always striving to prove to ourselves (by striving to be perfect) that we belong where we are. Either because those around us are watching closely waiting for the slip up, or because deep inside we question if we deserve to be there ourselves. We could even explore the nuanced layer that even if we did have confidence to be where we are, it would be perceived by others as arrogance because we are women. Transparently, it can feel overwhelming at times, because there just isn’t a reality in which we are perfect, so we fall prey to the lie, that because we aren’t perfect we don’t belong, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy of negativity and lies.
The Good News
Our imperfection does not mean we can’t serve well or do great things, in fact it doesn’t even mean that we don’t belong. If anything, it is a beautiful reminder that we are human and need saving. Even better, we have been saved through the work of Jesus! And God sent Jesus to this Earth as the only person that was/is perfect. Paul reminds us that he also isn’t perfect, but rather than allowing it to define him, it’s a motivation for continually turning to Jesus.
I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.
Philippians 3:12 (NLT)
Dare I say, if we are doing life “right” we are probably taking leaps of faith, pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone, and if God has called us there, it is miraculous to see him show up in that process; and when we inevitably have “hiccups” or small setbacks (because we are only human), it’s not a sign to give up, it’s a reminder that we need Him, and His greatest desire is to know you and for you to love Him in a way that leans on Him in the good and in the setbacks. In fact, the Holy Spirit is here among us interceding and giving us the power and strength to do what he calls because he knew we would not be able to do this life all on our own!
Go and be free, remember that you are loved, and rest in knowing that flaws will never change that, but are a gentle reminder of our need for Jesus each day.
Her Office Closet 